


Your Love Is A Prayer

by Libruuhhh



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s11e16 Safe House, Praying to Castiel, Season 11
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-21 20:46:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7403710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Libruuhhh/pseuds/Libruuhhh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean tells Sam the truth about what he saw in the soul eater's nest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Love Is A Prayer

Dean felt a lump forming at the back of his throat, threatening to burst if he even took a single breath. He had just told Sam about what he saw when he was trapped in the soul eater’s nest. That alone took a lot of effort for Dean to do. Dean wasn’t one to open up to anyone, even the people he was closest to. He wasn’t some teenage girl writing in a diary with a fluffy pink pen, confessing every single thing that happened that day. Dean was a whiskey bottle stuffed to the brim with memories, nightmares, and murders, but they never escaped the lip of the glass. Only a few made it past the top and out into the open. This confession to Sam was one of them, but another one was threatening to tip over and spill out. This confession was the one thing that would reveal everything to Sam, and he wasn’t sure if he could handle the aftermath. The bottle was about to overflow anyway, so Dean decided that now was the best time to let the truth spill.  
“Sam,” Dean whispered quietly, hands gripping tightly on the steering wheel as if the leather would provide him with some sort of strength to confess, “I saw something else when I was trapped in that son of a bitch’s nest.”  
Sam looked up at him, raising his eyebrows. “Sure thing, Dean, talk to me.”  
Talk to me, Dean thought to himself. As if it was that easy. Dean sucked in a breath, feeling it catch on what felt like a rock lodged in his throat. Well, now or never.  
“Sam, when I was in that nest, I saw Cas.” Dean firmly closed his eyes and slowly let out a breath. He did not want to make eye contact with Sam, did not even want to move one single inch. Dean was perfectly content sitting there for the rest his life, white-knuckling the steering wheel and glueing his eyes shut, but his heart knew that that would actually be physically impossible, so he willed himself to peel his fingers off of the wheel and look at his brother.  
“Thought you were gonna stay like that forever,” said Sam with a small chuckle.  
“If only, Sammy,” Dean replied, shifting his gaze back towards the windshield of the Impala.  
“Listen, Dean, I–“  
“Don’t start, Sam.”  
“I just wanna say–“  
“Sam I get it, okay? I never open up, this is a big breakthrough for me, blah blah blah. Let’s not make this some sort of chick flick moment.”  
“Dean.” Sam said again with a bit more forcefulness. “Tell me what you saw.”  
Dean turned to Sam once again and pushed his lips together into one firm line, rubbing his hand nervously over his stubbly jaw to the back of his neck.  
“I don’t know if I can do that, Sammy.” Damn it. Here come the tears, Dean thought to himself. “It was bad, so, bad.”  
“Dean, we’ve been through hell and back. Whatever happened with Cas I’m sure won’t be as ba–”  
“He was gone, Sammy. His vessel was just lying there on the floor, completely still. I tried to wake him up, I did, I tried so many times, but he was gone, lifeless. No trace of Cas, or Lucifer, just the vessel, with the large black wings burned into the wooden floor.” At this point, Dean didn’t try to hold back the tears; they just kept falling, making rivers on his cheeks and jaw. He felt Sam’s eyes on him as he gently patted him on the shoulder.  
“You love him, don’t you, Dean.”  
Dean let out a muffled sob. “More than anything, Sammy. I love him. I love him so much. I can’t take it anymore. I want him back. Why did that stupid son of a bitch say yes to Lucifer, Sam? Why?!”  
Dean’s head was in his hands and the world was spinning and he’d just confessed his love for an angel possessed by the devil. He really wasn’t sure how to feel, but the feeling sure wasn’t good.  
“Hey, Dean, c’mon, come here. We’re gonna get him back, I promise. There’s always another way for us. There’ll be some sort of spell, or ritual, or sigil–”  
Dean suddenly felt a wave of anger rush over him, and he wasn’t sure if it was because Sam was so calm about this, or if he himself knew there wasn’t another way to get Lucifer out of Cas because Cas had actually wanted to be possessed, but he took his head out of his hands and shot Sam a glare.  
“We’ve tried everything, Sam. Nothing works because Cas doesn’t want it. He wants to be used by Lucifer.”  
As soon as Dean said this, Sam turned to him, suddenly struck with an idea.  
“There’s one thing we haven’t tried, Dean.”  
“And what would that be?”  
“Tell him you love him. He probably accepted Lucifer’s offer because he felt like he was useless. If you pray to him and tell him how you really feel, there’s a chance he may kick Lucifer out.”  
“Listen, Sammy, I’m not sure if I’m ready to just confess Cas everything right now, I mean, it took a whole shit ton of guts to tell you.”  
“Dean. This may be the one shot. I’d say take it, and stop whining about your feelings.”  
Dean let out a sigh and let his head hit the headrest. He was getting to the point to be on board with this idea, but there was one aspect of it that lingered in the back of his mind.  
“Sam..”  
“What, Dean? Are you gonna do it?”  
“What if Cas doesn’t feel the same?” and there it was. Shit hitting the fan, Dean’s true chick flick words just pouring out for the world to hear.  
“Really, Dean?” Sam rolled his eyes. “Have you seen the way he looks at you? He stares at you like you’re the most prized possession he’s ever had, and he’s literally gone against Heaven to save your ass. If you would just pull your head out of your own, maybe you’d actually notice this.”  
With another sigh, Dean agreed. “I guess you’re right, Sam.”  
“Haven’t heard that in a while.”  
“Bitch.”  
“Jerk.”  
The ride back to the bunker was mostly silent, Sam sometimes asking a few questions about Cas, when Dean knew he was in love with him, and Dean did answer some questions, some he couldn’t muster up the courage to provide an answer. But he did open up, which was a step in some sort of positive psychological direction. Once they parked the car outside of the bunker and went inside, Sam waved to Dean with a nod as he walked to his room. Dean, realizing that this was his cue, went to his room as well, each step increasing his nerves more and more. As soon as he got to the door, his heart was beating a mile a minute, and the only thing that calmed him down was that this was Cas, his Cas, the angel that saved him from Hell and became his best friend, potentially a lover. Dean closed the door behind him as he walked through the doorway, shrugging off his duffle bag. He sat on the edge of the bed, in the same position he always assumed when he was going to pray. Putting his hands in his lap, he looked up at the ceiling, hoping that somehow, his prayer would get through, and closed his eyes.  
“Heya, Cas. Got your ears on?”


End file.
